First Loves Memory

Ode to Tracy

In high school I had the sweetest lil redneck boyfriend. His name was Tracy, boy he was just over the moon for me. And I was….well I was a 16 year old spitfire. I did love him. I just didn’t have any clue what love was supposed to mean. All I knew was he protected me, was sweet as the year is long and he looked at me like I was the prettiest thing on Earth. 

As teenage love goes things just didn’t work out. We went our separate ways and my mom and I moved away. Just a few towns away.

In the Summer of 96 I learned that he had died.

It took me by surprise because I just hoped he’d be the one I’d run into years later and we’d catch up on our lives. But that was never going to happen.  I have a journal entry that I wrote shortly after finding out that he was gone. It said that one day I’d visit Tracy, MO. Just because it was named Tracy…

Fast forward to 2012…My marriage is ending. I’m on the road to a new life and a new me. I’ve just went through gorgeous St.Louis and breathtaking Kansas City… Approaching the MO and IA state lines. I see a sign.

I hadn’t thought of this in at least a decade and there it was right in front of me. I never had gotten closure regarding Tracys death. I heard about his passing months after it happened. I didn’t get the funeral. Or the time with old friends… I just got memories. Which of course is enough.

But enough…still isn’t closure.

So I took a little detour. Spent a little while remembering … thinking … and missing loves first  kiss.

Here’s to Tracy Lynn Herring. It’s been almost 20 years…But love still lingers.

When I hear songs like, John Deere Green and Indian Outlaw it always takes me back. Here’s to closure…and to one last memory on the road….